As I finally get a chance to think straight after a whirl wind of events and emotions, I am struggling. I'm struggling to see what good can come of Jayden's pain. To have seen him in the condition he was in, was more than we could take. All we could do was pray. As a group of about 8 people stood in the er room at Childrens Hospital surrounding Jayden's little lifeless body, we began to pray......all we could pray was "please give the Dr's wisdom, we need help for Jayden now!" Within about an hour....another dr. walked in the room and began to piece it all together. He was like an angel sent from heaven. He almost immediately, altho for a while it seemed like an eternity had passed, began the surgery to relieve the fluid from around Jayden's brain that had been building for the past 2 weeks from this trampoline fall. I can't possibly say how relieved we are and grateful that God spared this little boys life.
Although I'm grateful, I struggle at understanding God's mercy. I struggle that it's not fair! Life isn't fair, I realize that. When will it be enough for this family. So as I struggle to understand and grasp at God's goodness and mercy, I dwell on the things that I can understand and can grasp at. So I pray that I will focus on what God is showing me today. That is Psalm 91:1 "that those who find shelter in the most high will find rest in the shadow of the almighty." That's about all I can do and ask.
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