My little Jayden

As I finally get a chance to think straight after a whirl wind of events and emotions, I am struggling. I'm struggling to see what good can come of Jayden's pain. To have seen him in the condition he was in, was more than we could take. All we could do was pray. As a group of about 8 people stood in the er room at Childrens Hospital surrounding Jayden's little lifeless body, we began to pray......all we could pray was "please give the Dr's wisdom, we need help for Jayden now!" Within about an hour....another dr. walked in the room and began to piece it all together. He was like an angel sent from heaven. He almost immediately, altho for a while it seemed like an eternity had passed, began the surgery to relieve the fluid from around Jayden's brain that had been building for the past 2 weeks from this trampoline fall. I can't possibly say how relieved we are and grateful that God spared this little boys life.

Although I'm grateful, I struggle at understanding God's mercy. I struggle that it's not fair! Life isn't fair, I realize that. When will it be enough for this family. So as I struggle to understand and grasp at God's goodness and mercy, I dwell on the things that I can understand and can grasp at. So I pray that I will focus on what God is showing me today. That is Psalm 91:1 "that those who find shelter in the most high will find rest in the shadow of the almighty." That's about all I can do and ask.

My Dad

It's Fathers Day today. Although, I realize it's a made up holiday as my husband would say, so don't take it so seriously. I still find it a day to celebrate. So I pause to think about my Dad. This is my first Fathers day without him. So this year there was no need to shop for a tie or a funny or sentimental card or some latest gadget that he might enjoy. Even though I missed doing that this year, I realized that I have much to celebrate about my Dad. He was quite a Dad and I miss him a lot. So I celebrate my Dad today, even though he's not here. I know where he is. I'm glad for the many wonderful years he lived and the big part of our lives he filled. I am blessed to have had a Dad who had such an enormous influence in my life and in so many around him. What a wonderful gift. So today I received the gift. And that is in the memory of a wonderful Dad, who walked the walk and talked the talk. Thanks Dad. You were quite a man. I can only pray that my boys will grow into wonderful men that resemble you. I think they already are.

It seems that we're in a season of change in our lives.  But I also know that change is inevitable.  One thing in life you can count on and that's change.  Sometimes the change seems wrong.  But it's nonetheless change.  As I prepare to become an official empty nester.  (Altho, Chad is still at home so it's maybe not official,) but we are in the crossroads of becoming empty nesters.  I thought that maybe I would be so bored and I'd be wondering what to do with myself some days.  So far that has not happened.  I think I'm busier than I've ever been.  I wonder at times when the day will come when I'm bored!  I hope that never happens.  Jayden and Brooklyn are hanging out with us for the next few days.  I forget what it's like to have little kids all day and all night.  How do young parents survive the sleepless nights?  I don't remember, but I really don't know how old parents survive the sleepless nights either!!! It's really been great.  Well, minus the lack of sleep.  Maybe they'll   keep us young and energetic.  Well, maybe not energetic.  Well, maybe not young either.  They just have a wonderful way of putting a smile on our face.  They continue to light up a room and our lives. 
Psalm 18:28 ~ Lord you have brought light to my life; my God, you light up my darkness.
Psalm 27:1 ~ The Lord is my light and my salvation - so why should I be afraid?
Psalm 119:105 ~ Your word is a lamp for my feet and a light for my path.

Rummage, rummage, rummage! We were knee deep in rummage! The money that was made for research this weekend from peoples stuff (junk, leftovers, garbage) was nothing short of amazing. Can you believe that $6200.00 was made from peoples stuff? It was a God thing for sure! People came in droves. It was crazy! A ton of work....no doubt. But it was worth it. It was definitely a sacrifice for Justin and Stefanie, to have their home completely invaded by tons of stuff! The great thing is it's all going to research for Sanfilippo. So we pray!!!! Asking God to do great things for these babies! We know He can!

Sometimes our faith gets shaken, I know mine has. I have been shaken, broken and ripped apart. I'm sure we all have felt that at times. But God continues to remind me that He's at work, even when He seems silent.