When there is no happy ending

2 Samuel 22:34

He makes me as surefooted as a deer, enabling me to stand on mountain 

heights. 

As I sat with tears streaming down my face, staring at my flooded basement, the memories washed over me. As I looked around, all I could do was stare in disbelief. Where do I even begin? This mammoth cleanup was the last straw. I sat in the middle of the mess and just sobbed.   

That same day, a mentoring relationship I had been in ended in a terrible way. It had left me reeling, filled with deep sadness and hurt. I was completely broken and undone. The faucet of tears wouldn't stop.

As I stood in ankle deep water of pain and loss, God showed himself to me. He reminded me of a scripture passage in Habakkuk 3. The Old Testament prophet’s prayer was exactly what I needed to hear in that moment.  

"Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior. He makes my feet like the feet of a deer. He enables me to tread on the heights."

As I sat in silence, those words began to take root in my heart. Somehow in the midst of the water-soaked pieces of my life, I could still rejoice. I could find joy.   

God led me back to all the beautiful ways He had met me as we built that mentoring relationship. She needed a place to live and was struggling to make sense of her life. I kept seeing God’s grace and direction through the months of my sharing with her how God meets us right where we are, in the midst of our pain. 

My own words were now exactly what I needed as I sat in this puddle of grief. 

God was gracious to me in that wet and soggy basement. He said "I'm refining you." He took my act of obedience and made my feet like a surefooted deer, as he called me to keep climbing. The terrain was rocky but he was strengthening me. He would help me stand again on new mountain heights. 

Was this really how God was ending our relationship? Where was the pretty box tied with the bow? There was nothing tidy about this. But He was showing me the path to rejoice. My family and friends offered me love and encouragement to keep climbing.  

As we offer God our basement experience, He passes it through the waters of His grace. We can believe that He will make us surefooted again. Standing on the heights is our only option. So let's keep climbing.