First we have coffee.

For some reason. I woke up this morning missing my mom.  I haven't felt that sting in a while. She's been gone 3 years now.  But I think about her pretty much everyday. Usually it's with a heart of celebration.

Today was different.  I felt a sadness. I wanted so desperately to call her.  I just wanted to unload.  I needed a landing place for my struggles and frustrations. 

This morning I felt i had no place to land my pain.

Her and my dad were my strong towers. It was in the many crazy, tough moments I would call them.  They would show up in person. Or at least in prayer.  I always knew I could rely on them and their prayers for me.  

They loved to be a part of our busy lives in even the smallest of ways.  

Mom carried a heart of grace with her. Especially for her 4 kids. She was my quiet tower of strength.  She wiped my tears more than anyone.  She was my landing place.  

Although today I know she's not able to answer her phone.  But I begin to unload anyway. I know God can handle my frustrations. My brokenness. My heart that hurts.  

He becomes my landing place.  My grace place.  I unload and he doesn't judge me. He wraps his grace arms around my heart and soul.   I need the comfort.  

I feel the grace, like it was my mom.  She offered grace more than anyone I knew.  

I stop for a few minutes at a little cafe.  This place reminds me of her.  My Norwegian influence is represented here. I sit with my coffee.   My moms motto. First we have coffee.  So I take a few sips. I feel moms grace arms.  They belong to the one who's grace is sufficient.  

As tears stream down my face I'm trying to listen to the spirit speak.  I glance over into the corner of the cafe.  I see a beautiful couple in their golden years bowing in prayer.  I cannot hear their prayer.  But I feel it.  It's a beautiful reminder of my mom and dad's prayers for me.  My grace place!  

I sense grace arms wrapping me in that moment.  My heart rejoices.  I realize my grace place becomes filled with his presence.  I try and wipe my tears.  But I think it's ok to cry.  Tears are refreshing.  

I'm learning that he never wastes our pain.  He uses it for his glory.  He still uses my moms heart of grace in me.  She reminded me without words how to offer grace to others.  Even when it seems impossible.  His grace is enough. I'm enough. 

First we have coffee.  Drinking in His grace.  

Thanks mom!!