Jayden's smile!

Today I looked into my grandson Jayden’s eyes, they were smiling.  I loved that moment.  You see Jayden can’t talk.  Unfortunately, Sanfilippo has taken that away.  So I look for moments to peer into his soul.  I grasp the moments, and with everything I have, I try and capture that smile in my memory.  I would love to bottle it up for later.  There’s something about a little boy who is full of life and activity, yet can’t communicate with words.   But Jayden has learned to communicate with his eyes.  At least that’s how I see it.  He has a gift that he gives to people who know him.  He lights up a room when he smiles.  His beautiful smile has a shine to it.  He shines his way into our hearts every day.  I know that is directly from the Lord.   In fact, God often uses Jayden to teach me.  He allows me to see Himself through the eyes and charm of a little boy named Jayden.  Trying to understand Sanfilippo is like trying to understand the mind of God.  I know that it’s not possible.  But instead I want to thank the one who gives life.  The life that God gives is sometimes not the one that we thought we’d have.  But sometimes it’s better. 

John 10:10
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.

Abundant life.....it does look different, it's beyond measure!  It's beyond our understanding! 

Finding grace !

I am amazed every day, that God continues to show up in our lives.  I want nothing more than to see God at work.  I'm thankful that God has restored my eye sight to see Him more clearly.  He's allowed me to see life through the lens of Sanfilippo.  It's not the lens that I thought I'd be looking through.  But I'm thankful everyday that He allows me to see Himself so beautifully through my grandbabies lives.  I'm blessed that God would take such great measures to show me who He is and that He is grace.   He reminded me that He showed up in love through 2 little children, Jayden and Brooklyn.  God gives grace and we often miss it, because we're looking through our own clouded eye sight.  I'm surprised by God's grace.  God has used Sanfilippo to tenderize my heart, and to show me what grace looks like.  He's allowed me to see and to be drawn to the broken places.  Life isn't about getting it all right,  putting all the pieces together nicely, it's more about allowing God to take the broken parts and then He pours Himself into those broken places.  He has shown me way more of who He is through the pain than He ever could have in the easy and good things of this life.  So I'm grateful that God has given me this new language, the language of grace.   I ask  that God will continue to deepen me and grow me into His likeness.  I know He will, using Jayden and Brooklyn to remind me, to remind me of the grace of God. 

Blessings of praying!

I've been wanting to write, but I stopped believing that I had anything to say.  But God keeps reminding me of whose I am.  By God's grace, He reminds me that He is enough for me.  I often think, I don't feel Him, hear Him, see Him, sense Him, but it's in that moment that I realize I just have to BELIEVE HIM.  I have to believe that He is!  When I can believe that He is, it's then God says you're enough for me, and I am enough for you.  

It seems my life is about listening mostly, sometimes sharing, and a lot of praying.  I don't feel that I pray enough, but when I do pray, I feel filled to over flowing.  I used to think that the power was in my prayer, but I realize the power is in the one who hears my prayers.  It has nothing to do with me, it has everything to do with Him.  I'm thankful for the prayers and for the one who hears them.  It's when I pray that I'm changed, maybe the circumstances don't change.  But I'm the one who is changed.  That's the gift.  I love that gift. I had parents who prayed faithfully everyday.  I probably didn't appreciate those prayers when I was young.  Now I appreciate those prayers like never before.  I sometimes wonder if God has stored up all those prayers for my life today.  So today I'm thankful for the prayers.  The prayers of a righteous man availeth much.  So I pray, Lord avail much!  He does. He will.