"the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat"
I so enjoyed watching the olympics. It's amazing that these athletes could rise to the top of their sport and compete at such a level and appear to be so calm. It was exciting to watch, night after night. I was glued to the tv. I rarely missed an event. I'm kind of sad it's over. It definitely was thrilling to watch some be victorious and so agonizing watching others be defeated. I'm sure most had been preparing for a lifetime for those few moments in the spotlight. Only a few came out on top. Obviously these people had been consumed by their sport for many years. I would imagine that's the only way you could get to the top. Many things consume me from day to day. I would love to say that I allow Jesus to consume me. It's not always the case. Somedays it's painful thoughts that consume me, Sometimes it's the comforts of this world that consume me. Sometimes it's the struggles. How often do I allow God to consume my heart. I pray that I will more and more. The verse that I've been thinking about and praying over lately is:
Zephaniah 3:17
The LORD your God is with you,
he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with his love,
he will rejoice over you with singing."
I definitely need to be reminded of His ability to save. I've spent more time being discouraged than I have in believing His power. I need to be reminded of His delight in me. I haven't felt very delighted over that's for sure. So no matter what I feel inside, he's rejoicing over me with singing, with hallelujah's! Although my hallelujah's are broken, he continues to quiet me, takes delight in me, rejoices over me. That's God. He does that for His children.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Ok ~ here goes: nausea, dehydration, double ear infections, diahrea, coughing, fever, flu, sleepless nights, vomiting, severe diaper rash, hospital stay for Stef, a lot of tears and that's just a few things that describe the past week at the Boyces. There doesn't seem to be any breaks. Please pray for this family, as if they don't have enough already. We are all in survival mode, I think. Struggle, pain, emptiness also describes our lives of lately. We need a new out pouring of God's grace and mercy. I'm being reminded that His strength is made perfect in our weakness. Thank you Jesus!
Thursday, February 11, 2010
I just wanted to share what I shared with my Awana girls parent dinner on February 10th. I have to say I was able to open my heart in a new way. It wasn't easy. But I knew I needed to share from a broken place. I realize that everyone can relate to a broken heart. So this is what I shared ~
As I was thinking about what I wanted to talk about, I thought why not talk about our hearts. It’s Valentines Day, so it's a perfect opportunity. But as I started thinking about my own heart, all I could think, was that my heart was broken. But when I mentioned that to my husband, he said "that’s just it Joan, everyone can relate to a broken heart." So I want to tell you about my broken heart, but let me start with some other types of broken things first.
As I walked around my house, I soon realized I had found several things that were broken. I began to categorize my broken things. I realized that I had broken things in my house that I could fix. So that’s good, I can paint, or sew, or glue, or whatever the broken item needs. I also realized there were things that I couldn’t fix, but my husband could fix them. So I put his name to the top of that list. So that's great, maybe eventually these things will be fixed. Then I thought about things that were broken and could be replaced by going to the store and replacing them. I love to buy new things, especially when there’s a purpose. That’s fun. Not a problem. I realized that there was also a category of things that I couldn’t fix, nor could my husband, nor could I replace them by going to the store. For example, I have a clock that’s an heirloom. It’s very valuable to me, because my Dad gave it to me many years ago. When he gave it to me, he said now this clock is very intricate and sensitive, you shouldn’t move it around too much. You have to take special care of it. Although, I did my best with that, sure enough, the clock broke. But I remember my Dad saying, it’s ok we can always find a clock maker or clock repairer. It can be fixed, we just need to find the right person, with the right skills, an expert craftsman.
I also thought of another type of brokenness, broken relationships. It happens, sometimes, relationships break. Maybe it’s with a family member, or a dear friend. We’re human and we say things that are hurtful. It happens in life, we can count on broken relationships at times. But there is hope, there are powerful words that we can use to help mend those broken relationships. Words like “I’m sorry, or I forgive you, or you’re forgiven”. Sometimes an” I love you” helps to begin the healing of a broken relationship. And sometimes just a hug is worth a thousand words.
This leads to my story, to my brokenness. October 6, 2009, my daughter in law took her son Jayden, my little 3 year old grandson, to a geneticist. A dr. of genetics who specializes in tracing our dna or our genes that are passed from a parent to a child at birth. The words the doctor used that day would be like daggers to our heart. He said that he believed that Jayden had a rare genetic disorder called MPS. He said it’s a terminal illness, it’s fatal. He will probably only live into his 2nd decade of life. This means maybe 12-14 years old. This disease will attack the central nervous system. He will eventually not be able to walk or talk. It would take several weeks to determine which MPS disorder he had. But after several blood tests, they determined it was MPS 111 which is more commonly called Sanfilippo type A. Those words would break our hearts. Those words would change our lives. Fast forward a couple weeks, the doctor said that he would also need to test Brooklyn, Jayden’s little sister, our beautiful 3 month old granddaughter. She also tested positive for Sanfilippo. Our hearts would be broken again beyond belief. Where do you go with a broken heart? All I know is I began to call out to God, he began to show me himself through his word. The verse I began to claim is Psalms 34:18 ~ The Lord is close to the broken hearted. He rescues those who are crushed in spirit. I remember when my children were small, and they would come to me sometimes with their hands open holding something broken with big tears in their eyes. I would do my best to take what they were holding and try to fix it. I began to picture God doing that for me. I picture him holding my broken heart and my sons broken heart and my daughter in laws broken heart and my families broken heart in his hands with tears streaming down His face. He cradles our broken heart in the palm of his hands, because when your heart is broken, it needs to be carefully held. It needs an expert craftsman. Fast forward a couple months, my Dad had been very sick, he had leukemia for 2 years and now he was really sick. He went into the hospital and God took him home to heaven on January 8th. I really miss my Dad. My Dad was my prayer warrior. You see when my family was going through the hard moments with Jayden and Brooklyn, he was the first one I called and asked to pray. He would always point me to Jesus. He couldn’t fix my broken heart, but He knew the one that could. Another verse that has become my anthem, during this season of life is found in Isaiah 45:2-3 ~ This is what Lord says, I will go before you and level the mountains. I will smash down gates of bronze and cut through bars of iron. And I will give you treasures hidden in the darkness - riches stored in secret places. I will do this so you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel, the one who calls you by name. ~ You see he is showing us a pathway through our pain. Those are the treasures in the darkness. I know he will continue to show us those treasures and the riches that are stored in secret places. I certainly don't have it all figured out. This is the journey that we're on. So if you're heart is broken like mine, call on Him. He will do the work, the mending, the healing in his time.
As I was thinking about what I wanted to talk about, I thought why not talk about our hearts. It’s Valentines Day, so it's a perfect opportunity. But as I started thinking about my own heart, all I could think, was that my heart was broken. But when I mentioned that to my husband, he said "that’s just it Joan, everyone can relate to a broken heart." So I want to tell you about my broken heart, but let me start with some other types of broken things first.
As I walked around my house, I soon realized I had found several things that were broken. I began to categorize my broken things. I realized that I had broken things in my house that I could fix. So that’s good, I can paint, or sew, or glue, or whatever the broken item needs. I also realized there were things that I couldn’t fix, but my husband could fix them. So I put his name to the top of that list. So that's great, maybe eventually these things will be fixed. Then I thought about things that were broken and could be replaced by going to the store and replacing them. I love to buy new things, especially when there’s a purpose. That’s fun. Not a problem. I realized that there was also a category of things that I couldn’t fix, nor could my husband, nor could I replace them by going to the store. For example, I have a clock that’s an heirloom. It’s very valuable to me, because my Dad gave it to me many years ago. When he gave it to me, he said now this clock is very intricate and sensitive, you shouldn’t move it around too much. You have to take special care of it. Although, I did my best with that, sure enough, the clock broke. But I remember my Dad saying, it’s ok we can always find a clock maker or clock repairer. It can be fixed, we just need to find the right person, with the right skills, an expert craftsman.
I also thought of another type of brokenness, broken relationships. It happens, sometimes, relationships break. Maybe it’s with a family member, or a dear friend. We’re human and we say things that are hurtful. It happens in life, we can count on broken relationships at times. But there is hope, there are powerful words that we can use to help mend those broken relationships. Words like “I’m sorry, or I forgive you, or you’re forgiven”. Sometimes an” I love you” helps to begin the healing of a broken relationship. And sometimes just a hug is worth a thousand words.
This leads to my story, to my brokenness. October 6, 2009, my daughter in law took her son Jayden, my little 3 year old grandson, to a geneticist. A dr. of genetics who specializes in tracing our dna or our genes that are passed from a parent to a child at birth. The words the doctor used that day would be like daggers to our heart. He said that he believed that Jayden had a rare genetic disorder called MPS. He said it’s a terminal illness, it’s fatal. He will probably only live into his 2nd decade of life. This means maybe 12-14 years old. This disease will attack the central nervous system. He will eventually not be able to walk or talk. It would take several weeks to determine which MPS disorder he had. But after several blood tests, they determined it was MPS 111 which is more commonly called Sanfilippo type A. Those words would break our hearts. Those words would change our lives. Fast forward a couple weeks, the doctor said that he would also need to test Brooklyn, Jayden’s little sister, our beautiful 3 month old granddaughter. She also tested positive for Sanfilippo. Our hearts would be broken again beyond belief. Where do you go with a broken heart? All I know is I began to call out to God, he began to show me himself through his word. The verse I began to claim is Psalms 34:18 ~ The Lord is close to the broken hearted. He rescues those who are crushed in spirit. I remember when my children were small, and they would come to me sometimes with their hands open holding something broken with big tears in their eyes. I would do my best to take what they were holding and try to fix it. I began to picture God doing that for me. I picture him holding my broken heart and my sons broken heart and my daughter in laws broken heart and my families broken heart in his hands with tears streaming down His face. He cradles our broken heart in the palm of his hands, because when your heart is broken, it needs to be carefully held. It needs an expert craftsman. Fast forward a couple months, my Dad had been very sick, he had leukemia for 2 years and now he was really sick. He went into the hospital and God took him home to heaven on January 8th. I really miss my Dad. My Dad was my prayer warrior. You see when my family was going through the hard moments with Jayden and Brooklyn, he was the first one I called and asked to pray. He would always point me to Jesus. He couldn’t fix my broken heart, but He knew the one that could. Another verse that has become my anthem, during this season of life is found in Isaiah 45:2-3 ~ This is what Lord says, I will go before you and level the mountains. I will smash down gates of bronze and cut through bars of iron. And I will give you treasures hidden in the darkness - riches stored in secret places. I will do this so you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel, the one who calls you by name. ~ You see he is showing us a pathway through our pain. Those are the treasures in the darkness. I know he will continue to show us those treasures and the riches that are stored in secret places. I certainly don't have it all figured out. This is the journey that we're on. So if you're heart is broken like mine, call on Him. He will do the work, the mending, the healing in his time.
Friday, February 5, 2010
In December, when we were in Epcot, I found myself wandering through Norway. Before I knew it, a man came up to me and grabbed my hand and began to put lotion on it. I soon realized that he was obviously the fragrance designer of the perfume I was looking at. We began to talk and it was a fun conversation. Well, before I knew it, I was buying his fragrance. It's called "Laila" the essence of Norway. (He named it after his mom.) He even signed it and gave me his picture, ok, ya it was over the top, I know! Well, maybe I bought it because I met the designer, otherwise, I'm pretty sure I would have thought this is too expensive. I glanced over at Ken and he just said "Merry Christmas!" I have to say it was fun meeting the designer, Geir Ness. As I thought about that, I realized, it kind of makes a difference when you meet the designer face to face. But how much greater it is that we can know our designer, our creator. I've met him and what a difference He has made in my life. I know that He continues to show me the fragrance of Himself, the fragrance of His love, the fragrance of hope, the fragrance of joy. It has been extremely hard these past few months, but He continues to infuse Himself into my life.
Isaiah 40:28-31 Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall, but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
Isaiah 40:28-31 Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall, but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
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