Even as a young child I knew I would probably have a large family. I couldn't get enough of babies and all their perfection of sweetness.
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For me motherhood came naturally. I remember when I held my firstborn for the first time, I was in awe of this gift I was just given. I couldn't wait to watch her learn and grow.
As it turns out I did have a fairly large family. 4 children spread out over 13 years. Some would say that's big. I'm not sure that it is, but nonetheless we decided to join the 4 and no more club! That would become our new mantra!
I look back now and I can say. I'm so glad that I had 4. Was it easy? No, not for one minute. Raising children is not a picnic. They require every ounce of every minute of every hour of every day of your time, energy, strength, brain power, reasoning skills. It will take sacrifice, wisdom and selflessness and lots of love.
There will never be enough of you to go around. You will feel spread thin and overwhelmed many times. You will be challenged and broken and spend lots of moments in worry and fear. You will cry, feel stretched and discouraged many days. You will wonder at your own strength and abilities to do what's needed. You will probably second guess your decisions.
But as I think back to those early days of raising my family. I can say I'm glad I chose to make the sacrifice. I'm glad too that I chose to stay home with them. A choice I was blessed to have. Sadly, not everyone has the luxury of that choice. Again not an easy job and not always a popular decision.
We chose to be a little less rich and a little more poor. But the blessings still were evident more than I even knew. God always showed himself faithful when I least deserved it. I would often miss the blessings. But He in his patient ways would remind me that He stood in the gap when i was not my best. I would learn eventually not to measure my own abilities or lack thereof by others standards. It was so easy to do.
My perspective would often get lost in my struggle to keep everything tidy and in order. I would find it easy to hide behind the wall of discouragement and focus on what I didn't have instead of on what I had.
Again Gods gentle reminders would come in a variety of ways. I would hear his whisper "be grateful." "Don't miss the blessing!" God would continually nudge my heart and pour His spirit into my parched soul. His gentle guidance would instill in me a greater desire to grow in my faith.
I would often get caught up in being right and correct over all else. But eventually my stubborn heart would see that it was about doing love and being love. Love would win over every time. My four would teach me and bless me again and again.
I'm still learning and struggling. It's in the struggle where we grow muscle and strength and courage. Maybe it's there where we learn to live and love differently. That's the beauty of family love. It's not in getting it right but in choosing to see the blessing.
Romans 8:39
Neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
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Romans 15:4
Such things were written in the Scriptures long ago to teach us. And the Scriptures give us hope and encouragement as we wait patiently for God’s promises to be fulfilled.
Proverbs 16:9
We can make our plans,
but the Lord determines our steps.
