Grace, for someone else.

Grace takes it's place in our lives.  It's often we become grace to someone else.  I'm always surprised by that.

Surprised by grace. 

I think for most of my life I've doubted His grace. I really doubted that he would use my small offerings.  That he would choose me.  I'm soft and broken. I'm not always faithful.  I don't see beyond my small world.  I only think about my failures.  I fail and I think ive just ruined everything.  I doubt a lot.  

Fear gets a strangle hold on my heart.  I'm often crippled.  

I begin to see Jesus use my failure.  

I can't believe it.  It makes me love Him more.  

The last few months have been a beautiful constant surprise of grace. 

I've had more opportunities than ever before.  But I wonder did I get it right. Than He steps in and says. I've already  got it right for you.  I'm perfect so you don't have to be.  Our failures become his strength. 

I've had many holy moments.  Beautiful holy moments.  I've had the privilege to share my story.  Gods story.  The place where grace grows me.  My grace place.

Learning as I share life with broken women.  They grow me. Their lives intersect with mine.  We all are changed. It's all grace.  He begins to strengthen my home built by grace.  Moment by moment. Grace upon grace. 

My grace story deepens when I jump in the pit with someone.  Why God do you want me to jump in?   Fear grips my heart. But I know it's the right thing to do.  But I question him, "are you sure I'm the one."  I can think of a hundred better choices. 

The pit is ugly and deep. It seems far away from where God is. I wonder if He see us in this place.  I feel insignificant.  I pray a lot. I begin to think that I know less and less.  God strips away all of my devices that I try to use.  Than I feel his arms.  Grace shows up. 

My friend offers me wisdom.  She says what are three things you like about yourself?  Ummm I can't think of a one.  I wonder if I even like myself.  Why would I?  I see my failures and mistakes and my broken stuff.  I only see weakness instead of strength.   I fail to look at my worth.  I wonder if others struggle with that.  

I feel bad I can't answer her question.  She than answers for me.  She has a long list for me.  But I'm blind to that.  Than I realize God used her to remind me.  Grace takes it's place.  

While I'm in the pit with someone. I put my grace arms around them.  He gives me grace arms for the moment.  I begin to feel strong.  I feel their pain. It changes me.   I see grace in a new way.  I know he's in the pit with us.  His significance changes me.  I pray it changes them. 

We live life together.  We share our broken places.  We grow together.  Our hearts mingle. God smiles. I smile. We begin to heal.  We heal together.  Grace changes us. I'm glad he lets me be a part of their lives.   

When i reach out to them, I sense God is doing the work.  Im glad God has called me beyond my abilities.  I remember He doesn't call the equipped but he equips the called.   I experience grace.  Those holy moments change me.  

I'm reminded that when I'm weak I am strong.  He didn't give up on me.  I won't give up either.  

There is not a better place to live.  I'm so glad that I've been able to experience the rhythm of Gods grace.