I was in the 7th grade and those words were directed at me. My friend had asked me and another friend to come help her be a teachers aid during our lunch. As our teacher approached us he had an unhappy look on his face. That's when those words spilled out of his mouth "what is she doing here" and my heart sank. I knew in that moment I wasn't accepted. I was rejected.
That was a hard moment for a shy, awkward 7th grader. I was a typical 12 year old girl looking for acceptance.
I would rehearse those words over and over. I would hear them echoing in the hallways of my heart for many years. They would adhere like glue to my soul ....! I couldn't remove those words, they would linger in my mind. They would hang dangling like moss on a tree. Chanting "you aren't enough!" "What are you doing here?"
Negative words can have a crippling affect on us. What a reminder that words do make a difference. They give us value or take it away. They do tremendous damage and can leave us feeling insignificant.
There are many moments I wish I could put in reverse, the words I've used. There are really no second chances once the words have tumbled out, it's done. I'm still learning, but I want to use words that will bring healing, that will encourage, that will uplift, that will inspire and give life. That's what God's word does in our lives and in our hearts.
He resurrects the pain, but then covers it with a gentle healing balm. He uses those negative places in our lives to grow us deeper into the heart of God. We can only grow from the place of hurt and pain when we allow God to use it for His glory.
He is purposeful in our lives when we allow Him to freely search our souls. I know now what I'm doing here. God has purpose and intention. I'm thankful today for those words, although painful then, they are a wonderful reminder to me of the mighty hand of God in my life.
The desire I have today is to use words differently, to build, to restore, to refresh, to bring value, hope and inspiration. Words.....are powerful. My prayer is that God would continue to use my words to glorify Himself through blogging and the searching of my soul. Praise God for "out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks." The abundance of words! They are sweeter than honey in a honey comb!
Psalm 19:4
May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart
be pleasing in your sight,
Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.
I would rehearse those words over and over. I would hear them echoing in the hallways of my heart for many years. They would adhere like glue to my soul ....! I couldn't remove those words, they would linger in my mind. They would hang dangling like moss on a tree. Chanting "you aren't enough!" "What are you doing here?"
Negative words can have a crippling affect on us. What a reminder that words do make a difference. They give us value or take it away. They do tremendous damage and can leave us feeling insignificant.
There are many moments I wish I could put in reverse, the words I've used. There are really no second chances once the words have tumbled out, it's done. I'm still learning, but I want to use words that will bring healing, that will encourage, that will uplift, that will inspire and give life. That's what God's word does in our lives and in our hearts.
He resurrects the pain, but then covers it with a gentle healing balm. He uses those negative places in our lives to grow us deeper into the heart of God. We can only grow from the place of hurt and pain when we allow God to use it for His glory. He is purposeful in our lives when we allow Him to freely search our souls. I know now what I'm doing here. God has purpose and intention. I'm thankful today for those words, although painful then, they are a wonderful reminder to me of the mighty hand of God in my life.
The desire I have today is to use words differently, to build, to restore, to refresh, to bring value, hope and inspiration. Words.....are powerful. My prayer is that God would continue to use my words to glorify Himself through blogging and the searching of my soul. Praise God for "out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks." The abundance of words! They are sweeter than honey in a honey comb!
Psalm 19:4
May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart
be pleasing in your sight,
Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.
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