Ordinary self seeking the one who is able!

As I reflect back on this past year, I remember thinking that maybe God would do something new in my life.   Maybe He would use me in a more unique way.  It doesn't appear from my mind that God has done anything unique in my life.  But I wonder, what was I expecting God to do?   I prayed fervently that God would use my life.  I remember committing myself over and over to His will.  I questioned and doubted my talents and or gifts that He gave me.  I even studied spiritual gifts to hopefully realize once again that I have something for God to use.  I am so thankful for each and every day he gave me.  God was good to our family.  But nothing really seemed to change for me.  I never felt that I had done or tried to do anything great for God.   I would struggle with my purpose and question God's ability.  But I continue to pray, seek and ask God to once again use my life, my gifts, talents this year for His purposes.   He promises that He will.  It just may not look like I think it should.   In October of 2009, we found out our 2 grand babies Jayden and Brooklyn were diagnosed with Sanfilippo syndrome.  It was a painful and difficult diagnosis that would leave us speechless and paralyzed.  But God would remind me over and over again that He was inviting me to experience His grace.  I would see Him showing up in many different ways during that period of time.    I just didn't know that it would look like Sanfilippo.   I remember questioning what he was doing.  Was he still good?  So even though  I didn't understand, God was still drawing me into His presence.  We are not always going to understand.  Sometimes it won't make any sense at all.  But is God still able to change, move, grow us?  Yes, but it's in His timing.  Again this year my prayer is the same.    I place my ordinary self in the hands of an extraordinary God and who knows what He will do.  It's all up to Him.  Our job is to continue to seek Him with all our heart.
Psalm 9:10

Those who know your name trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you

Psalm 14:2

The Lord looks down from heaven on all mankind to see if there are any who understand, any who seek God.

Psalm 27:8

My heart says of you, “Seek his face!” Your face, Lord, I will seek.

Psalm 34:10

The lions may grow weak and hungry, but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing.

Psalm 40:16

But may all who seek you rejoice and be glad in you; may those who long for your saving help always say, “The Lord is great!”