My dad

dad

Today would have been my dads 88th birthday.  He's been in his heavenly home for almost 4 years now.   Dad was a kind, sweet, gentle prayer warrior.  A simple, loving, humble man.   He was something of a contradiction because he was cheap and generous, but that was our dad.  He gave away more than he kept.   Although he had little wealth on this side of heaven, he was rich.  He was happiest when he had something to give away.  Whether it was vegetables from his garden or a dinner, a cup of coffee or a hearty laugh, his tithe or his time, he simply and lovingly gave it away.   I'm blessed to have been his daughter, and I will always be grateful. I grew to love my dad all the more as I watched him age, he was someone I deeply admired.  I saw a humility in him that I still desire to apply in my own life.  I'm sure  he had no idea that I would allow his last few years to reshape my own life and perspective.  He probably never knew how much he taught his family about prayer and humility, but that left a huge impact on us.  When I reflect on my dad, I see him humbly kneeling beside his chair, deep in prayer.  I  realize now that he was handing me a gift. Thanks for the gift Dad.  I miss our coffee breaks we had together, along with your hearty laugh.  Today I celebrate your life with a cup of coffee because we know that's what you would be asking for. :)  Thank you dad.  You lived well.  

Philippians 4:6

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God

Clumsiness!

As I allow my thoughts to ebb and flow....I wonder how God somehow can bring wisdom out of the clumsiness of my life. I often feel like a toddler because I stumble and fall a lot.  As I stumble and trip into the grace of God, I let the grace flow over me like a cool fresh breeze.  God's grace is an amazing gift...when we allow it to seep into our mind and then into our hearts.  I'm thankful today for my clumsiness, as I stumble into the arms of grace.    I find in grace that God is already there.....waiting to hug me and remind me that He's been waiting.  Grace is amazing especially when we think we're so far from it. That's what I love about my journey of brokenness and blessing.   I was in line at Starbucks earlier and I was behind quite a few cars. I kind of wanted to get out of line, but it was too late.  I was locked in and so I figured I would quickly look at my phone and check my emails etc.  So when I finally arrived at the window, I was not at all anxious, I was just happy it was finally my turn.  The young man at the window asked me how I was, I said I was doing great.  He looked at me and said I feel bad you had to wait so long and as he handed me my coffee, he said "this cup is free."  I was greatly surprised by his generosity and I guess because it was so unexpected that I kind of felt tears welling up in my eyes (for just a minute tho)!  My reaction was just "thank you so much....I really don't deserve it."  As I sat there and let that sink in.....I wondered isn't that exactly what God desires for us all the time.   Isn't it wonderful when we recognize what we don't deserve but still joyfully receive it in sometimes unexpected packages.  Sometimes grace is wrapped in a free cup of starbucks coffee.   So I thank you Lord for the clumsiness of my faith as I stumble and fall into the arms of grace!

2 Timothy 1:9  He has saved us and called us to a holy life—not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace. This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time,

Fall beauty!

Fall is such a wonderful time to celebrate the beauty of the earth.  Here's just a few pictures that I've taken!  The blessings are abundant......if we just take a moment to notice.

  

Isaiah 61:3 - he will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair. In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks that the Lord has planted for his own glory. 

  

The trees are clapping their hands.

I've been noticing the scenery around me.  I have to admit I don't ordinarily look at trees or landscape.  But this fall, I have noticed scenery in a brand new way, and often through the lens of my camera.  I'm not a great photographer by any means but I am seeing landscape in a wonderful new way.  I can't seem to get enough of beautiful trees.  The scenery has made me fall in love with Jesus again.  When I see the gorgeous colors I can't help but be reminded of God's blessings.  I can only imagine what heaven will look like.  What an amazing imagination our God has.   I know the colors will soon change and slowly autumns beauty will fade to another season.  But today, God breaks into my heart and I feel a fresh breeze blowing into my soul.  My heart and soul are fed through the landscape of God's beauty.  The struggles in this life tend to lighten when looked through the lens of God's imagination.  I love this verse in Isaiah.....

You will go out in joy
    and be led forth in peace;
the mountains and hills
    will burst into song before you,
and all the trees of the field    will clap their hands.

I do believe the trees are clapping their hands.....I guess I kind of want to think that maybe they're clapping for me, for each of us.  Some days I just need applause, but it doesn't always come.  Maybe they are clapping and singing to remind us that joy is in the simple fact that we are surrounded by beauty, whether we notice it or not. I love that God reminds me, that he desires a heart that sees..... the beauty of trees.  I do believe I hear them singing.  Thank you Jesus for the beauty of the earth.  Remind me everyday when I see a tree or a mountain, that they are clapping and singing.  Wow....I love that.  Joy and peace seep down into my soul in a fresh way.     

What to say!

What to say!


I haven't really felt I've had much to share lately. So I've avoided blogging. But at the same time, I have a need to share my thoughts from time to time. Mostly my thoughts are of a spiritual nature, because I love Jesus. I am blessed to have met Jesus as a really young girl. I am blessed each day to wake up and feel such a peace in my life. My life isn't exciting or full of lots of adventure. It's actually quite boring maybe to most people. I stay home and help take care of my grandbabies mostly. I have found in sacrificing my life and heart for something bigger than myself is where I have found tremendous peace. Living and looking beyond myself hasn't come easy. I thought very differently 3 1/2 years ago. But after Jayden and Brooklyn's diagnosis, life changed, my perspective changed. Their lives have taught me so much about living today living in each moment of the day. I thought life as a believer was about getting it right. Doing and striving to please Jesus. Working and living up to what I thought people wanted from me. That way of living is an empty and hollow hole and it left me with a constant need for acceptance and applause. But I'm learning and I'm so thankful that Jesus is already pleased with me. I matter to God the way I am, the one who gave His life for me wants me to know it's not about being right, getting it right, but truly loving Him and resting in that love. So I'm blessed even when life is hard. Even when I'm doing the most mundane things. He is there and I matter and so do you.


Jeremiah 6:16

This is what the Lord says:  “Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths,
ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls.

Surprised by Grace

I hear God's voice whispering at times to me, saying write your thoughts.  I often push those voices aside. But today I'm going to write what I believe God is whispering in my heart.  God has given us much in this life in blessings.  But the days when the blessings seem to be over shadowed with the brokenness in this life, it's in those days I cry out.  "God can you use me now, in this broken place."  You see 3 years ago my 2 beautiful grandchildren were diagnosed with a rare genetic disorder called Sanfilippo.  We would learn in those first days that life for them would be very short.  The statistics say that a child with Sanfilippo will only live  12-14 years.  My heart cried out "God, where are you?"   God began a new work in my life in those moments and I was surprised by grace.  It was in those first few weeks and months that I was able to say to God, "use me in this broken place."  He has lovingly taken a very ordinary woman, with a simple story and said "let me use your broken steps, your broken heart.  Give them to me  and I will lovingly take them and use them to bless and encourage others around you." grace showed up.   I ask God to somehow make me available, to listen, to be still enough to hear when God whispers into my soul.  Some days it's not clear, and I don't hear anything but the beat of my own heart.  In those moments I just find rest and peace.   But when I sense God's spirit filling me with Himself, I listen, paying attention to His whispering of my name. 

In Isaiah 45:2-3 God ministers to me these words, I will go before you and will level the mountains; I will break down gates of bronze and cut through bars of iron.  I will give you hidden treasures, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the Lord,the God of Israel, who summons you by name.

I believe that God will supply me with what I need each day.  For each of us, He calls us to Himself and so pay attention.   He offers us treasures hidden in the darkness, riches stored in secret places.  Surprising me by grace.

What is my gift to Jesus?

What gift am I willing to give Jesus?  We were asked this question in church yesterday by the pastor.   First we were asked what was the most extravagant gift we had ever given?  I wasn't sure that I had ever given anyone an extravagant gift.  I told my husband that I had given him our 4 children.  Now that might not have been what he was asking exactly.  But as he continued with the message, he began sharing from Matthew the story of Mary.  Mary gave an amazing extravagant gift to Jesus the week before he was going to the cross.  I wonder how much she thought about it before she poured this expenseive perfume on Jesus.  Or if it was just an overwhelming love that she felt in that instance for Him.  I put myself in Mary's place for a moment and I wonder what I would have done.  Knowing my savior was going to be crucifed later in the week, I hope I would have chosen what Mary did.  I know from Mary and Martha's account that Mary also chose to sit at Jesus feet.  While Martha was busy serving, she wanted Jesus to reprimand Mary to help her serve the meal.  But Jesus said at that moment, Martha, Martha,”  “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one.   Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

So what is my gift that I can give to Jesus.  As I've been thinking about that thought, I realize that my gift has to be my adoration.  Mary gave out of her love and adoration of Jesus.  She wasn't expecting anything back.  How often do I pray for something from Jesus.  Most often I pray with my list of bless this, ask for that, comfort someone and I know that God cares for those prayers and requests.  But I have felt a real sense that I need to begin my prayer lists with my complete adoration and love for Jesus.  Leaving behind my lists of requests.  I think when we pray differently, He listens.  When we give ourself to the one who can change lives, He does just that.